Random Brain Dumping

Limbo leaves me in a lurch

I’ve never liked being in limbo. It’s such an uncertain place.

I remember in taking tests or turning in papers in school – elementary through college – and dreading the wait for the results. The worst were waiting for the results of college entrance exams. When I decided to go to graduate school and had to take the GRE, I paid extra to take the test on the computer and get the results immediately.

In fact, I’m a bit impatient when waiting for any information, which is why I’ve enjoyed being the one to share news. No one is in limbo.

The problem with being in limbo is that the mind wanders, speculating on all possible outcomes.

Generally, I imagine the worst-case scenario first and even allow myself to experience the raw emotions of the moment. In private. That sometimes has meant tears or screams or even laughter.

(Am I the only one who goes through this?)

Oddly, when I get the actual results, I’m better prepared to accept them and am far less emotional.

So far.

Being in limbo when it involves the health of a loved one is different.

I’ve gone through the worst-case scenario in my mind, but I don’t think I’ll ever actually be prepared for the actual worst-case scenario.

Limbo sucks.

I just want to think about the best-case scenario.

March 11, 2013 Posted by Gwendolyn | Random Brain Dumping | limbo, sickness | Leave a comment